Navigating Loss of Safety After a Traumatic Event
Losing a Loved One Isn’t the Only Time We Experience Grief
When you hear about loss and grief, the first thought that comes to mind could be losing a parent, loss of a spouse, child, or friend, or loss of a pet. But it can also mean losing a “thing” such as a role, identity, a home, or a sense of yourself.
While these may come to mind first, there are other significant losses that are less recognized as “loss” where we may think grief doesn’t apply. Another significant loss that is less talked about is loss of safety. When something dangerous happens to us, the intensity of the danger can linger even long after the threat has subsided. We know we aren’t in harm’s way anymore and we may have people around us to give that sense of safety and support, but it just doesn’t feel the same. Our feeling of safety has been stripped and it can take time to get it back. This becomes especially difficult if you come under a threat in a place where you normally feel safe. All your guards are down while being in this place. Maybe it’s your favorite park that you’ve exercised in so many times, your favorite restaurant you eat at every week, or even your own home. Places that were supposed to be your safe place or go-to for fun are now tainted with fear and anxiety.
Developing PTSD When You Lose Your Safety
PTSD symptoms can easily start to take over your mind and body when something traumatic happens, like an assault or an attack on/in your environment. It can be really difficult for your brain and body to process what has happened. The situation was so intense that the rest of you is struggling to catch up and is overwhelmed. It’s common to have sleep terrors or not sleep at all. Maybe you feel panic and dread coming on when you think about having to go by the scene of the incident so you start avoiding these places that used to make you happy. This could cause a major disrupt to your day if the place where the trauma occurred is a place you have to go to frequently such as work or a certain route you have to take daily. This can be an even bigger barrier if the trauma happened in your own home.
When something traumatic and distressing happens in or near your own home, you can feel as if you’ve lost your safety. This would be a common feeling to have if your home was invaded or burglarized for example. This place is supposed to be where you feel most safe and comfortable. You should want to feel that you can relax here after a long day and sleep well. Unfortunately, sometimes this loss of safety is not recognized as much in the grief and loss space. After a traumatic or stressful event, whether you lost someone or not, you are grieving the sense of safety or innocence that you had. You’re allowed to feel scared, lost, angry, and sad even if you and you’re loved ones are safe now in the present moment.
How to Find a Sense of Safety Again Through EMDR Therapy
Reducing fear and anxiety is possible. It’s normal to be weary in a place where you once experienced something traumatic. You may never need or want to go back to where it happened and that’s completely okay. But this may not be possible if the incident happened in your own home. There are plenty of therapy techniques that help to decrease major symptoms of PTSD or acute stress so you can function again in this place that carriers so much weight for you. From my own experience and as a clinician, I enjoy using EMDR therapy with my clients to treat these symptoms. Clients come in after a recent traumatic event with symptoms like intrusive images, flashbacks, hypervigilance, irritability, panic and fear.
After going through the 8 phase treatment of EMDR, clients are able to think about the event with less reactivity. This looks like being able to feel more calm and settled when thinking back to the event. Less physical symptoms are also common such as a steadier heart rate, less crying spells, and less tension in the body. Clients typically are able to stop replaying the images in their head and focus more on the present moment.
The EMDR Institute states, “Some of the studies show that 84%-90% of single-trauma victims no longer have post-traumatic stress disorder after only three 90-minute sessions”.
As a therapist, I particularly enjoy using EMDR to work with clients who’ve experienced a recent traumatic event or loss. Loss is common with trauma, but it can look different depending on the situation. A traumatic event commonly includes the loss of a person, but sometimes it’s the loss of your safety, your home, or your identity that deserves attention too.
Looking to Process a Traumatic Event That’s Taken Your Sense of Safety Away?
I’m Kate, and I offer online only EMDR Therapy for women located in DC, Virginia, Maryland, Michigan and Indiana who’ve experienced a recent traumatic event or loss.
Contact me today at rrcounseling.info@gmail.com or 765-432-5496.
Reach out to get started today!
Kate Regnier
Regnier Restorative Counseling