EMDR Therapy for Disenfranchised Grief

You’ve lost someone or something important and meaningful to you. Maybe you knew it was going to happen. A cancer diagnosis, a poor pregnancy prognosis, or a big move or a new job you’d been planning for. Maybe this loss came out of the blue and left you in a state of shock and bewilderment. You’re dealing with thoughts and feelings that are possibly brand new to you.

Maybe life was pretty stable for you up till this point. You just want a handle on these new waves of emotions that are crashing over you. Grief doesn’t follow a linear path and you may be finding yourself numb one day and raging with anger the next. The lack of clarity on what to do now is leaving you in shambles.

“But this isn’t the typical loss, like a loved one passing. Am I allowed to still feel this way”?

Some of my clients come in experiencing grief but they aren’t sure their loss is “big enough” or “the kind of loss” that needs worked through in therapy. Feelings of grief and loss aren’t restricted to losing someone. You can have grief from any of the following situations:

• Breakup of a relationship/marriage

• Financial or job loss

• Miscarriage, stillbirth, or being told you are infertile

• Loss of a pet

• Loss of a patient

• Loss of innocence or sense safety

• Loss of a home

• Loss without closure such as someone missing

This isn't what you pictured life would look like at this age.

You feel you’re too young to be experiencing such a major loss in your life. It feels like loss and grief shouldn’t be something happening to you yet. Maybe you were expecting to have a long future left and you were not expecting to be without this person, situation, or pet so soon.

My goal for my clients is to feel a sense of peace amidst their loss and find joy and meaning again. I help my clients do this by using the 8 phrase process of EMDR Therapy to reprocess their loss in a safe environment.

Here’s what EMDR Therapy for grief and loss is not:

• Getting completely rid of sadness

• Feeling suddenly happy about your loss

• Forgetting about the loss or the person you lost taking it away or fixing it

Here’s what EMDR Therapy for grief and loss can do:

• Process emotions like anger, guilt and regret to feel less intense

• Address and decrease negative beliefs you hold about yourself since the loss, such as “I could have prevented this” or “My life is meaningless now”.

• Reduce emotional distress and hyperarousal that comes up when thinking about the loss

• Build resilience and adjust appropriately to the loss

• Reduce flashbacks and intrusive memories or thoughts related to the loss and be able to think of your loved one without distress

• Is a structured framework that lets you process the grief at your own pace

When we meet for our initial intake, we’ll discuss where you’re at and how I can help. I’m excited to work with clients who are wanting help navigating intense emotions and overwhelming thoughts after a loss. I’ll help you process what's happened so you can live in a way that gives you a sense of peace and rest in the aftermath of a loss.

Looking to process trauma or loss?

I’m Kate, and I offer virtual EMDR Therapy to residents of DC, VA, MD, MI and IN to help reduce the intensity of emotions, thoughts, and negative beliefs you may hold about yourself after a loss or recent trauma. Contact me at rrrcounseling.info@gmail.com or at 765-432-5496 to schedule an appointment.

Kate Regnier, LMSW, LCSW, LICSW

https://www.regnierrestorativecounseling.com/